Yesterday I think I cleared a hurdle. My calves had been really hurting-I did not know why-and I was whining endlessley about it to my friend, Lisa, who suggested that I might have a blood clot. Or two. I didn’t sleep much on Sat night fearing the end was nigh so first think Sunday morning, Hubby took me to the ER to get checked out. He never believed that I had them but also knew that I wouldn’t stop worrying about it until I was sure.
So towards the end of the 5 hour jaunt in the ER, I told him that I hated this surgery because I was hungry all the time and in pain. He replied that I had been hungry all the time and in pain before the surgery-additionally I was guilty for eating too much. A light bulb went off in my mind-I am really changing and I am not going to let minor complaints stop me from living the life that I want.
After finally arriving home, I went out for a walk. Despite the pain and the hunger and the cold. It was a short walk but still an important one. Today I will go further. My 5 yr old commented that I look smaller. YEAH!
My friend who had lap band in July warned me that I would hate her for a while-during the hungry phase and so I did. But maybe I’m through the worst of it. Maybe not. Either way, I will survive this difficult period-reduce my dependence on food and eating and finally when I do get to have my 3 tiny meals a day, maybe I will be in heaven. Maybe I will just be fed and leave the bliss of heaven to pursuits not involving food.