I got good news today-I lost 16 lbs since 1/10/08. I was kind of happy and kind of dissapointed. I know it sounds silly but I really thought it would be more. I am so good at sabotaging myself! So, I am thrilled with my weight loss and just don’t know how to get my mind around the big picture.
I find the urge to binge still hits and while I am not “beating the band” with ice cream I have pushed a few other limits. I am frustrated to find that I still must do things like feel myself and plan meals. A part of me wishes that I could just never have to eat!
If I plan and eat well then I do not get over hungry and I am ok. Tonight I went to a 4:20 movie with a friend (Pixie Momma-Busy Tarp) and did not want to deal with dinner after it was over. By the time she left my house it was 7pm and I was really hungry. I was afraid and overwhelmed. I find hunger so overwhelming! I overate. Still not too bad thanx to the band. But I am reminded of how well the band is working and how I still have to care for myself. Urgh! I just can’t be one of those gorgeous, skinny women who never stop to eat. I guess it does not serve them either.
Also, I ran out of a few foods that I rely on and thought I could just adapt. Well I didn’t do so great.
But-Good news. A friend called out to me today-she called “Goddess” and I responded without thinking! Yeah!
I am going to re-commence writing to my angels. I used to channel angels a lot but tapered off due to lots of things. If anything worth repeating comes out, I will post.