I just ordered the book, Sperm Wars: Infidelity, Sexual Conflict, and Other Bedroom Battles, on Amazon. It was a ground breaking book written by a scientist. She (Robin Baker) learned that women are designed to have multiple partners biologically. While I’m not interested in cheating on hubby I still find the concept very empowering. We are the ones who ultimately choose who is best fit to carry on the human race-not men.
Anyway-I haven’t read it-looking forward to learning more…
I feel like my Goddess identity has been a bit squashed. She does not know how to communicate her message to the world. She wants to tell women that the process of learning to love themselves is a sexual one first. Then it’s about trust. Then it’s about respect. Then it’s about boundaries (with the self first) and finally it is one of spreading the word.
As annoying as those Jehovah’s Witnesses are-they are willing to spread the word of their faith in a world where many do not want to hear. As a goddess lover I feel the need to hide. I will come out of hiding.
Do you masturbate? Do you enjoy sex with a partner? Start there. Those who believe that it is wrong or not necessary are denying a gift that Goddess gave us. Would you say no to a calorie free and healthy cake at a party? If it was the best cake in the universe and would only help you or at least leave you no worse off than you already are? No. Well orgasms are like that. Free-no calories-they do not hurt anyone. This gift was given to us to help us cope with the rest of reality! Use it!!!
One of my great inspirations was Trudy Griswold who wrote the book Angelspeake. I had the privilege of working for her briefly and learned so much from her. Over the years I have channeled angels for myself and others and never would have done this is not for my time with her. I encourage all to read her book. I just went to catch up with her on her website and found that her dearly beloved sister has passed. So sad. It is part of life but still feels very full of fear and grief.
My writing tonight:
Me: I feel devoid of inspiration-devoid of motivation-devoid of creativity. I don’t know where to funnel my spirit/erotic self-am I an author or a narcissist?
The Angels: We bless and love you and want you to know that we are here for you that we are with you and want you to love yourself for always.
We want you to know that you’re living the life that you wanted that you love and that you deserve. It will get better-we ask you simply to pray every day and night for you to live out your purpose. We know that you do not want to do whatever-if giving up your husband or son were the price-never fear it is not. We bless and love you and want you to know that we are not about removing your joys but enhancing them. Take this time to pray. Get on your hands and knees and ask for guidance, purpose, and commitment. That is all. We bless and love you always.
This month, at my lab band support group, there will be several different plastic surgeons coming to talk. I am not going. I understand that some people have tons of leftover skin after losing weight. I also feel like it just encourages the perfection conversation. Every fat person that I know, over analyzes their faults-at least the small ones.
I sawa woman who had lost 100 lbs recently. She is still overweight. She feels as if she’s done nothing and the first thing that she did was jiggle her underarms. “I hate these!” she declared with disgust.
I told her that most people, at least the kind of people who we care about, don’t just look right at our underarms the moment they see us. They also don’t look right at our thighs or go on a cellulite search. They just look at US!
I know women of all sizes who focus on some partcular body part that they hate and that is the first thing they see in the mirror.
The journey of Goddessness is to learn to love ourselves as whole creatures. To understand that no one is perfect and that no matter what we look like we deserve to feel like a Goddess. I do this some days better than others. Overall-I feel good about myself and grateful and when I don’t – I too must remember my own words.
When people see you they just see you-they do not zoom in on the body parts (well maybe breasts or legs but usually that’s because they like them!).
We put so much pressure on ourselves to be profound-to make a difference. I think that the metaphysical conversation can make it worse sometimes. The teachings about putting out positive messages to receive positive things can frequently be heard by women as pressure to never think anything negative or never to focus on mediocre things like paying bills or not hating our jobs.
We spend so much of our energy feeling bad about what we are not doing and how we haven’t changed the world instead of just being grateful to ourselves for providing what ever it is that we do.
I was reading a story in Pink Magazine about how post disaster assistance is usually planned by men and some basic things that women need like tampons are just overlooked. Additionally, once the disaster is over most of the jobs are for men as they are primarily in construction. So for quite a long period of time a woman without a man is helpless and her whole family may go hungry as a result of that.
One of the things that can be done for these women is to provide micro loans. One such woman used the loan that she received to buy a brick mold. I don’t think that she spends much of her time feeling guilty about her contribution but is mostly grateful that she can feed her family and provide work for some other widows too.
So I guess all this is to say that it’s ok to just focus on the little picture and give yourself a break about the bigger one. When I am working and wondering if I am doing it right I remember the brick maker and feel grateful to myself and Goddess.
I just wanted to update everyone. I’ve been busy. I am beginning work on the book, Goddessness which is all about how to feel like a Goddess in the modern world. It’s really important to me that I write it while I’m still fat/obese/curvy because I don’t want it to look like I just lost weight and then felt like a Goddess. I am feeling better in lots of ways but still feel sexy and successful at 300+. Feeling like a Goddess is not a body size and I feel that if I write the book after I’m a small size that message will be less powerful.
We’ve also adopted two kittens into our home, so now we have 5. 2 lucky males and 3 Goddessy females. One of the things that I love about the cats is how they just have an innate sense that they are worthy of worship. They are warm, affectionate and very independent. I will post pix shortly.
Also, in a more mundane sense, I am adapting to the summer life. My 6 year old son didn’t like his summer camp so we’ve adapted to a three day a week work week for me, with him at his grandpa’s and a local babysitter for those days and me off two days a week. I still end up working most weekends but love the extra time with him and at the pool. I am a water Goddess I guess.
I would love to hear your comments about the book, about how you feel like a Goddess, what your challenges are and if you have any suggestions for the “subtitle”. Goddessness: ???
Goddess love to all!
I am now down 50 lbs as of 6/6/08. YEAH! I am very grateful for my wonderful progress. It’s interesting to me that people who are normal weight think that I’ve lost a ton and people who either are overweight or have struggled with their weight think that my progress is slow. I also have thought that my progress was slow.
I think that, at least for me, I have been so unable in the past to see progress and be happy with it that I never experience it. I am now learning how to acknowledge my own success and feel proud of it instead of looking for fault and thinking it’s not enough.
So-When someone tells you that they lost 50 lbs in 5 months-if you think that is slow-I invite you to look at your own life and see where you are being so critical that you are not progressing or moving forward.
Goddess blessings to all,